Behind the Decision Making Process
How do you know when to consider alternative living arrangements for your loved one? Are you at a place in your caregiver's role where you feel you have exhausted all possibilities of managing your loved one in their home? Your loved one may no longer be able to manage a three-bedroom house or apartment, and they may no longer feel safe entering their building or walking in the community where they lived for many years. They may be bed bound, unable to be at home alone, often falling, not sleeping at night, or confused and wandering outdoors.
You may fear losing your job because you had to take off so many days. In addition, you may be stressed about your finances because you are helping your loved one. Maybe you relocated to your loved one's home or moved your loved one into your home, and you are attempting to balance your life and role as a wife/husband, mother/father, daughter/son, or grandparents. You may be at a point in your caregiver's role where your health begins to fail.
You should know that each person's level of exhaustion is different because each caregiver's physical, psychological, social, financial, spiritual, and cultural values and beliefs are unique. It can be a tormenting period having to decide on alternative living arrangements for a loved one. The Feeling of Guilt; "I should be able to care for my loved one; after all, he or she took care of me" "I promised my loved one that I would keep him or her at home until the day they die."
"You may feel that this is The Christian Thing To Do. The Bible says that I should honor my parent(s) and removing my parent(s) from their home is surely not a good example of honor" "I should be there for my spouse to death do us part" The Subtle Remarks from others: often remarks from individuals who have never undertaken the role of a caregiver, yet! "I could never do that to my mother, father, or spouse" The Expectations are "You are single, have no children, and live near mom or dad," "I do not know about this medical stuff; you are the one with the medical knowledge" Frustration with the Healthcare System, "My parent only receives four hours three days a week," "My loved one has worked so hard for so many years, and now that they need help they cannot get the help they need"
You only get to your final decision by thinking, thinking, and thinking about the effects and consequences of your decisions and choices. Before making life-changing decisions, asking questions, researching, and gathering as much information as possible would be best. Doing so will enable you to decide confidently, guilt-free, and at peace. After all, you must live with your decisions.
Please join us for our Monthly 45 mins "Let's Talk" Zoom session on Thursday, April 20, 2023, at 7 PM. Presenters: Ebelise Andujar and Cheryl Sanchez Archcare PACE Program is an alternative to a nursing home. RSVP at www.comeoutreach.org.